A Brief Respite

My ex-husband is scheduled to be out of the office for a total of three weeks. He'll be returning in about a week and a half, so we're halfway through this brief respite.

Why is it a respite? Because we work at the same, small company. It is difficult to avoid each other. Any encounter is at best, neutral, at worst, uncomfortable. I never know when he's going to visit the office over here.

His absence highlights how much energy I divert from emotional healing into protecting myself.

It took a couple of days before I really started to relax. Then I started noticing my own behavior. I noticed that when people walk in the office, even if I don't look at them directly, I ALWAYS check to see who it is. I am ALWAYS braced for the possibility that it's him.

It has been more relaxed because I know he's not around, and I don't have to be constantly on guard.

It stands to reason that if I'm so unhappy with the situation, that I could leave. The way I feel about it right now is that this is a great place to work, and I'm lucky to be here. The job market is pretty tight at the moment, with no indication things are going to loosen up any time soon.

Plus, rumor has it that when his daughter (finally) gets a job, he's going to move on. It should be soon. I think she is close to graduating, if she hasn't already. I would be thrilled if he left, as would many other people here. We'll see.

Personally I think he won't quit. He would be very unhappy as a little fish in a big pond. Currently he is a very big fish in a little pond. But it could go either way.

So, as for the peace part of it, I plan to work on relaxing even when he is on the premises. There is no real reason to be so vigilant. It is a learned behavior. And if I can learn it, I can unlearn it too.

Can you think of some area in your life where a little relaxation will help diffuse a tense or stressful situation?