Sometimes It's Hard Not To Get Mad

Today I heard via the Grapevine, that my exHusband threw a hissy fit when he learned I was moving. I dunno....it seems to me throwing a fit would indicate he thinks I still care about what he does or does not do. I don't.

What I do care about is protecting myself and my reputation. I could not help but take offense when informed of some of his more disparaging comments, comments made to my co-workers and colleagues. It is an assault upon my character - against which I have no defense.  ANY response, short of none, looks like a defense, which automatically puts one in the less-than position.  I know my own true 'defense' is time.  Time is on my side because the truth ALWAYS comes out. 

So, from a peace point of view, all I can do is persevere. I will not stoop to his level when it comes to opening his mouth.

I will continue to strive to live my life with grace and dignity.

“Peace is not won by those who fiercely guard their differences but by those who with open minds and hearts seek out connections.”
-Katherine Paterson

I like that quote because it's true. It's not our differences that connect people, it's our similarities.

Excluding a few outliers on the Bell curve, most people want the same thing - food on the table for their family, a roof over their heads, safety, security, community. We share those wants and needs with just about everyone.

My boss used to say, "If you want to get someone to open up, ask them about their children". If you want to see someone smile, ask them about their kids. Unless, of course, their kids are teenagers. That's a different story.

So the moral of the story is, to find peace, look for connections and similarities. It works for me.

How has it worked for you?

Mental Peace

I am far from being an enlightened person, but there's one thing I've noticed.

When I am 'present', I am happy. When I am focused on what is in front of me, right now, I am happy.

Happiness comes in short bursts of time, mostly because it doesn't take very much to shake me out of my present-ness. I can go from peaceful to p.o.'ed in about 3 seconds - especially in traffic.

And yet, when I look at what gets me riled while, say, driving in traffic, it almost always comes down to some type of ego, sense of entitlement (get out of my way, jerk, can't you see I'm in a hurry!?), or wanting to be somewhere other than where I am right now (also "get out of my way, fella, can't you see I'm in a hurry").

When I can maintain my present-ness, I am happy. I like feeling that way - which is a totally non-cool thing to say. But it's true. :-)

Meditation helps to increase that sense of well-being. The duration of happy bubbles lasts longer, which (should be) is motivation for doing more meditation. I don't always meditate like I should.

Self-discipline is very hard. Fortunately it gets easier with practice. Lately, I've gotten a little out of practice.

Maybe it's time to get back into it....

What do you think?

Hope you have a happy and peaceful weekend.

kholland

Movin' On for Peace

Last weekend was Memorial Day...as an aside, my Mom passed away 22 years ago on Memorial Day. This year I spent the holiday weekend moving from my home of 13.75 years to a brand-spankin' new home.

I am very fortunate for several reasons, the least not being that I had several friends helping. I honestly do not know what I would have done without their help. I am amazed and grateful for the people who showed up for me. After a bad marriage that lasted way longer than it should have, it just wasn't something I was (or am) used to. People showing up??? For me????? Incredible!

But hey, that's not what I wanted to write about! My son and two of his friends came over to help. One friend I've known for a while, and think the world of him. The other I just met. T

They're amazing 23 - 24 year old young men. They moved the heavy stuff and worked very hard - for about four hours. Little did I know my son had made plans to go fishing (yes, fishing! ) at 2 o'clock sharp - right in the middle of prime moving time. I was a little upset. I knew that would be the end of their help and availability, not to mention muscles! My crew disappeared, and the day was still young.


In the end, I bit my tongue, gave each of them a little spending money, and went to work putting away all the stuff they brought over.

I am really glad I kept my thoughts to myself. They worked hard. One requested to be Face Book friends, and when you're an old fart like me, it's really cool when a young'un wants to be friends.

I kept the peace by keeping my criticism and opinions to myself. And for once, I'm glad I did.

Slowly, but surely, the work will get done. Just not on my time schedule.