Respect - Foundation of Peace

My son and I had a disagreement the other day - a pretty heated one.

He's 23 years old. Technically he lives with me, but we're not there at the same time very much. My home is his home base.

We argued about picking up after ones self, which he doesn't always do. It escalated rapidly. It left me in tears, and made him angry.

Looking back, I engaged him because my ego got in the way. Aside from the issue of respect,or maybe because of it, he made a snide remark that I took personally. I felt the need to defend, or explain myself. His callous remark hurt my feelings.

Respect is crucial to peace. Mutual respect is a pillar of peace. If we respect our differences, if we refrain from mocking what we don't understand, if we accept that we're different, and if we speak respectfully, we stand a better chance of working out our differences.

How Soon Before We're Friends?

I have two ex-husbands. I wanted to be divorced from the first one. The second one I threw down a challenge - we had to work on the relationship, or I could not go on. He choose to not work on the relationship. Eventually we divorced after a bunch of drama.

We are both firmly rooted in this area. When we are in meetings together or around each other, I feel tense, anxious, and angry.

So what does all this have to do with peace? Well....today the thought crossed my mind that the whole situation could be alleviated if we could be 'friends'. I'm not one to say 'never', but I have to admit chances that would happen are pretty slim. At least as things stand now.

But if we were to be friends, what would it take? What would have to happen? For starters, we would both have to be open to the possiblity. I would have to stop resisting the situation (I'm still very angry over things that happened in the past I consider to be unfair), and he would have to be respectful of a few limits.

I dunno....just writing and thinking about it makes my heart pound. It would seem I still have work to do about letting go...

Until next time,

Peace.

Who's Your Spiritual Teacher?

"Choosing a spiritual teacher is a very serious problem, and one should devote the kind of time and effort to it that one would devote to any fundamental problem in life."

The above quote is from an interview with Philip Kapleau Roshi by Helen Tworkin, published in Tricycle Review.

Wow. When I think back to all the Christian churches I've attended, some resonated with me more than others. Sometimes it was an instant attraction, and I knew I was 'home'. I couldn't get enough of it. Those times turned out to be the most healing, and provided me with what I needed then.

Inevitably, and sometimes sadly, the leaders moved on, or there were theological differences within the church, and they splintered. Sometimes church leadership was not pro-active enough in policing key employee's behavior resulting in rifts between members.

Regardless, I like the phrase, "When the student is ready, the teacher appears". I have found that to be true, time and time again. Sometimes my spiritual teacher turned out to be the most unsuspecting person I could have imagined. But they had a lesson to teach me, and then they vanished into thin air.

When the lesson is learned, sometimes the teacher disappears.

Life goes on.

Who was your most memorable, if fleeting, spiritual teacher?

True Peace Starts With Me

Hi there,

I was thinking this morning about my website, MomsForPeace.org. I did a search the other day, and my site didn't rank as high as it used to. It wasn't too surprising since I have not devoted much time to it lately.

But a few weeks ago, I had my hand read - no, it wasn't a fortune-telling thing, more like 'life coaching'. It turns out that my main purpose in life is PEACE. That is what I am here for - to work towards personal, internal peace.



Well, that started the ol' brain a tickin'. So here I am, refocusing on Moms For Peace in some form.



The challenge now is to get caught up - like, are we fighting one war now, or two? - and to actively work towards peace.



I created this blog, because I truly believe "true peace starts with me".



So....welcome to my journey...



But before I close, what does "Peace" mean to you?